Losing a spouse is one of the most difficult experiences a person can go through. It can be even more difficult for widows, who often find themselves suddenly responsible for their own finances, their own homes, and their own lives.

In the midst of all this change, it’s easy to fall into the trap of moving the goalposts. What you thought you needed to be happy, successful, or secure before your spouse died may no longer be the case. And if you’re not careful, you’ll spend the rest of your life chasing a moving target.

Here are a few tips for avoiding the trap of moving the goalposts:

  • Set realistic goals. When you set goals, make sure they’re realistic and achievable. If your goals are too ambitious, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.
  • Be willing to adjust your goals. As your circumstances change, your goals may need to change as well. Be willing to adjust your goals as needed.
  • Don’t compare yourself to others. It’s easy to get caught up in comparing ourselves to others. But this can lead to us setting unrealistic goals for ourselves. Instead, focus on your own goals and don’t worry about what others are doing.

Moving the goalposts is a common trap that people fall into. But by following the tips above, you can avoid this trap and set yourself up for success.

In addition to the tips above, here are a few other things you can do to avoid moving the goalposts:

  • Be honest with yourself about your abilities and resources. Don’t set goals that are beyond your reach.
  • Break down large goals into smaller, more manageable steps. This will make it easier to stay on track.
  • Celebrate your successes, no matter how small. This will help you stay motivated.
  • Don’t give up. Everyone experiences setbacks. The important thing is to keep moving forward.

By following these tips, you can avoid moving the goalposts and achieve your goals.

If you’re a widow who is struggling to set and achieve goals, there are resources available to help you. There are many organizations that offer support groups, counseling, and financial planning assistance for widows. You can also find helpful information online and in books.

Don’t be afraid to reach out for help. There is no shame in asking for assistance. With the right support, you can overcome the challenges of widowhood and build a new life for yourself.